Epic Zombie Defense, Ep 2, Bass Pro Shop

Scenario - Author and three others arrive at a Bass Pro Shop at the outset of a zombie boom. Can they survive???

First, I'd just like to say that if there is ever a zombie outbreak near you - head to a Bass Pro Shop. Why? They have guns (rifles, pistols, shotguns, scopes, laser sights, ammo out the wazoo, etc) , ATVs, boats, food, clothing, survival gear, camping equipment, shoes, camo, bows, CROSSBOWS... pretty much everything you would need to survive.

People I want with me:

B.A. Baracus (Mr. T from his A-Team days, not his World of Warcraft commercials now). This guy could build a Sherman tank out of Yugo or a Gremlin, and he can do it in about 1.4 minutes - even though it might look like it takes longer, that's about how long it takes for him to build anything on the show.

Lt. Commander Data, from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Why? 1- He's an android - why would zombies want to eat him? 2 - he's got superhuman strength. 3 - he's pretty much smart about everything, that computer brain and all.

Natalie Portman, because, well... she's, in the immortal words of Wayne and Garth: "[if you were a president you'd be] Babe-raham Lincoln". Plus, every adventure needs a leading lady.








The results: We would arrive in time to know the end is near. Natalie would be wondering if all her Vegan ways really mattered anymore - after all, what good is being a Vegan when a Zombie wants your brains? Mr. Data would be really interested in the biological happenings in the organisms now violently running rampant and would begin analyzing potential origination scenarios. But he still wouldn't use a contraction when he talked about it. BA would be wondering what in the world was going on, and talking about how he pitied the fool that started the whole thing. Assuming the Bass Pro Shop is something like the one nearest me, we'd secure the first floor exits and place barricades in front of them. BA would stockpile the ammo and guns in a three-tier fall back position, with the last one leading to the stairway leading to the roof. Mr Data would inventory food and supplies and give us a time table. He'd also frequently leave to gather fuel for the ATVs and boats we may need later as well as bash in some zombie skulls to collect scientific data. Of course, all the while there would be time for Natalie I to get to know each other. Because that's what happens in those life and death moments.

Did we survive? OF course we did. Not only did we survive, but one of the following would have happened:

1. Mr. Data would have discovered a rational and scientific reason behind the outbreak of zombies, and then found a cure (but being as I would be the comic relief, Natalie Portman would still fall for me)
2. With's Mr. Data's knowledge of starships, BA would build a spaceship and we would leave the planet behind and start a moon colony (that is, Natalie and I would)
3. We would simply outlast all the zombie horde and rake in about a billion zombie kills, and I would still say to Natalie: Someone's ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it... (Columbus in Zombieland anybody? Anybody???)

RESULT: 

Some post Christmas thoughts

Hey folks, sorry we've been out of it for a bit. Clower was moving up here to the Gump, and I've been trying to keep my sanity amid an ever changing world... maybe not successfully. But we're still here, and still going to write it up.

1. Have you seen Disney's UP yet?  Fantastic movie. Watched it two nights ago. Some beautiful moments in that very first part.
2. Interesting article on the notion that sex actually doesn't sell, at least not in Hollywood movies. Does Sex Sell in Movies? My favorite line from the article is: "It's about wooing, not winning." Makes me wonder, is that the big difference between guys and girls. Hahaha. It was my initial thought. So run with it and let me know what you think.
3. I told this girl at work that I was going to ask her out every day for a year starting in January. She laughed. I think I'll log her response everyday. Like a science experiment. Along with what and how I said it.
4. If you've got the post-Christmas blues - you know - like that feeling of something so close, so real, so good, just disappeared and you're wondering if it ever appeared to begin with and now you're at a loss... well, here's some medicine for the soul... (I'm always glad for some Wilcox...)

Some Christmas Awesomeness

Some awesome things...

Psych is coming back in January:

And Psych is always awesome.

Second - I watched the entire first season of Community - it's actually pretty good.

Third - Borderlands for Xbox 360 - is awesome.

And that's all I've got right now...

Happy Holidays!!!!