Some Christmas Awesomeness

Some awesome things...

Psych is coming back in January:

And Psych is always awesome.

Second - I watched the entire first season of Community - it's actually pretty good.

Third - Borderlands for Xbox 360 - is awesome.

And that's all I've got right now...

Happy Holidays!!!!

Looking for metaphors in all the wrong places...

I realized I do that - a lot, actually.

But, I think I learned something today. The first step is getting to acknowledge the truth. I guess that's why in AA, or whatever rehab, they always get you to say you are a drunk, or addicted, or whatever. You gotta know what is, and what isn't. Getting to the truth doesn't mean everything is fixed right after that. It really just started, but it doesn't start until you get to that point first. All the preparation for the journey can ensure your arrival at your destination, but the journey never starts without the first step.

Hmmm....

So you gotta get to the truth first. And then, after that - that's when you start walking.Ahhhhh, I get it now. And the truth will set you free...

Talking with one of the senior high youth I said regarding his entrenched sin, "You let Jesus deal with the sin, you just deal with Jesus."

"I don't get it, what does that mean?"

"I know. Exactly. It's as bad as dealing with a girl, 'cept God is invisible..."

My one-liner thought for the day.

440 hours and lots of legos later...

I found this video the other day, absolutely amazing. If you can't appreciate it, click on the video where they show the side by side comparison between the original movie and what they created.

Great job guys!

Epic Zombie Defense, Ep 1, The Boat House

Clower is taking the first installment of the Epic Zombie Defense, or EZD, scenario. The rules are simple:

1. You plus any three people
2. Locale, time limit, and particular scenario changes for each installment
3. Do you survive?

So for Clower, he gets 3 people and has to survive 36 hours on a boat house. Here is his response:

So if I have to defend a boat house for 36 hours against the zombie horde, I'm going to assume for the sake of argument that for some reason we can't just take the boat out to sea and wait the zombies out. Maybe we're out of gas or run aground in the shallows. Given that we are talking about having to defend a small structure that is also likely being tossed about by the surf, I think you need a crack team of nautical-minded warriors. So my picks:

Richard Marcinko, the real-life Navy SEAL and author of the Rogue Warrior series of action novels: To be specific, I'd want the fictional version that appears in the books, not the real-life Marcincko. Because, while Marcinko could probably still kick my butt in real life, he probably makes himself a lot tougher in the books. I figure his marksmanship, naval experience, and overall BAMFness would make the Rouge Warrior a top-natch nautical zombie killer.

Capt. Jack Sparrow: I'll admit Sparrow is a risky choice. Without a steady supply of rum on board he's likely to go into withdrawals and be useless. But he has actual experience fighting the undead on the high seas (see the first Pirates of the Caribbean  movie) and he's pretty handy with a gun and sword. Plus, he's kind of funny, which would be good for moral in the face of certain death.

Aquaman: The king of Atlantis gets a bad rap for having the lamest powers of anyone on the Justice League, but out on the water, his ability to communicate with sea creatures could come in handy. In this scenario, I'd specifically want the bearded, hook-handed nineties version of the Aquaman, not the goofball from Superfriends.

The Result:

After our house boat runs aground in the shallows, the teams decides to make a stand against the horde of undead sloshing towards us through the surf. In the first few hours of the assault, Marcinko's Navy SEAL marksmanship will keep the horde at bay. With Marcinko to guide us, the rest of the team uses this time to make some improvised sea mines out of spare gasoline and other chemicals aboard the boat. Tossing these into the surf, we are able to further thin out the zombies. For the first 10 hours or so, things are going smooth, but eventually we'd be out of ammo, out of explosives and the zombies would soon be clambering onto the boat. Jack's sword and Aquaman's hook hand would help in fighting back the zombies, and Aquaman would use his powers to call in an army of sharks and a giant squid to even the odds. Unfortunately, we underestimated the effect of consuming undead flesh would have on sea life, and soon our boat would be surrounded by a frothy soup of zombie sharks and undead squid tentacles wrapping around the hull. Faced with certain death, we'd be forced to pull a Keira Knightly and sacrifice Capt. Jack to save everyone else. Passing Jack the rest of the rum, we'd toss him into the sea to be fought over by the the zombified sharks and squid while the rest of us make for the inflatable raft and beat a hasty retreat back to shore. Total survival time: 25 hours.

From their point of View

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Inverse Ninja Proportion Theory

Clower was supposed to have filled you in on this, but he hasn't, so I didn't want to leave you hanging with the previous posting on Ninja Assassin, and still be befuddled concerning what exactly is the Ninja Inverse Proportion Theory.

First, we have to look at some things we DO KNOW about ninjas.

1. Ninjas are deadly
2. Ninjas are anonymous
3. Majority wear black when dealing death
4. Their business is death, not being eco-friendly farmers

Think of Snake Eyes, or Storm Shadow; just having a ninja on your team makes you able to wipe out massive amounts of enemy dudes.

So if you know that a ninja is a BAMF, then you would think that somehow having more of them would be like stockpiling hundreds, no thousands, of nuclear missiles, making everyone fear you, right?

And here is, strangely, where the Inverse Ninja Proportion theory comes in. Even though one ninja is equivalent to 100 soldiers, give or take, the Universe seems to have corrected the inevitable disproportionate balance of power.

• 1 Ninja > 100 Soldiers
• 100 Ninjas < 1 Ninja

In fact, the fewer the total number of Ninjas, the greater the BAMF factor divvied out. So total Ninja BAMF quotient would look something like:

• B = 1/N

where B is total absolute BAMF factor, and N is number of ninjas.

Two startling examples of this are:

American Ninja - In the beginning, the American soldiers are ambushed by several ninjas, and the soldiers lose. Why? Because ninjas are deadly. Yet there is one American ninja, and by the end of the movie, he destroys the enemy compound of hundreds of ninjas.

And of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies. TMNT's consistent foes are the Foot Clan, a clan of ninjas, and more often than not, the 4 turtle ninjas are able to beat the horde of ninjas exported by the Foot Clan.

Hug an Asian and Ninja Assassin

Two things of note today.

1. Today is National Hug an Asian Day.

At least, that's what facebook told me. So if you see me, or my family, you should hug them.

Second. I finally watched Ninja Assassin this past week.

Here is my review:

What happens when you train orphans into assassins? You get assassins. What happens when you promote killing in an emotionally sensitive area to your top assassin? You get revenge. That's the basic plot. Kid grows up being trained to disassociate from pain, to become numb, but you can't stop girls and boys from being girls and boys. Try to kill one, and well, the other will get a little angry at you. This almost falls classically in line with basic Ninja Revenge Theory 101 which postulates that if you kill a young Asian kid's loved one, and you don't kill the kid, the kid will invariably come back to kill you when he is stronger, faster, and better trained. This is spectacularly so when said kid is ALREADY a ninja. Of course there is the Ninja Inverse Proportion theory as well, that evil Ninja Clan should have already known,that states that multiple ninjas versus one ninja will always lose to the one ninja. (see American Ninja, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Ninja Assassin, the list goes on for examples.)

And the story goes on that Europol, which I thought was the fake Interpol, but is not, is on the trail of actual ninja assassination attempts by following the pattern of people dying and then 100 pounds of gold being moved into bank accounts. An basically there's lots of ninjas killing helpless soldiers and police officers, lots of heads being cut in half (not at the neck), bodies being sliced up, and blood flying all over the place.

And then the movie is over.

Really, that's about it.

Plot: 2/5 --- nothing life changing or unexpected or fresh about the story.

Action 4/5 --- great fight sequences, nothing has ever shown ninjas to be such BAMFs as this movie.

Characters 2/5 --- pretty bland, and pretty average.

Music 2/5 --- I actually can't remember anything about it, but it didn't ever annoy me either.

Ninja awesomeness 5/5 --- ninjas are just awesome.

Final rank: 3/5 --- If you like ninjas already, you'll like this movie, if you don't, well, only if you like martial arts and lots of blood will this interest you, if you want good story with your action, you're better off renting The Last Samurai instead.

Jodi and Drew got hitched

Jodi and Drew just got married, and just got back from their honeymoon, and I had the privilege of working with  Shae Owens in photographing the event. So I thought I would share some photos as well.

Congrats, Jodi and Drew!

Ninja Assassin is out tomorrow

In case you hadn't heard Ninja Assassin opens tomorrow, Wednesday, November 26.

Yes, it's only got a 26% approval on Rotten Tomatoes, which means it is assuredly not certified fresh, but rotten instead.

However, it's about Ninjas, and Assassins. And even though it's actually redundant to add Assassin to the word ninja, that's okay, I'm still going to see it.

To honor the opening of a new movie about Ninjas, we will be posting 3 new entries this week. The next episode of the Royal Tumble, featuring assassins, of a sort, the Ninja Inverse Proportion Theory that Clower is working on, and a new episodic - Epic Zombie Defense series, or EZDs.

Look for it.

And see the movie.

And stop texting me, thinking that you're funny, by saying, "dude, i see there's a movie about you." I'm sure I can't be the only Asian-Caucasian that you know.